Trump 'Clearly Has Something to Hide,' Says Lady Who Smashed Two Blackberrys With a Hammer

Yes, it's true: Donald Trump won't release his tax returns. This has triggered Hillary Clinton, who holds a PhD in Transparency from ITT Tech and has always been an eager beaver when it comes to disclosing potentially unflattering information to the public — or FBI.

Anyway, unlike whatever was stored on the two Blackberrys that Clinton had her aides murder with a hammer, Trump's tax returns are very much our business:

"He said that the American people don't care about his tax returns. And in fact, he's also said that it's none of our business. I just think he's dead wrong," Clinton told reporters en route to a campaign event in Tampa, Florida.

The knockout blow: Trump "clearly has something to hide." Yeah, probably. But let's not kid ourselves: This is textbook, Freud-approved psychological projection. Last Friday when the FBI revealed that Clinton had curb-stomped her Blackberrys, Trump was quick to remark that "people who have nothing to hide don’t smash phones with hammers.” Or delete 30,000 e-mails moments before the FBI closes in. But we digress.

No, Mr. Trump: it's you who have something to hide! See what Clinton did there? Coy.

We've yet to read a compelling argument as to why Trump shouldn't release his tax returns — most, if not all, presidential hopefuls do so, and sorry, Trump is not a special snowflake exception.

But if The Donald really does have something to hide, instead of coming clean he should smash up his tax returns with a hammer, and then whine about unfair double standards.

Because this is how adults act in 2016.

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